Tuesday, November 29, 2005
"Go shorty, it's your bat mitzvah."
My parents, bless them, did their best to make my bar mitzva an event to remember. There were a few friends and family meals over shabbat, and a party on Sunday (held at a neighbor's house) featuring delicious quiches of various descriptions, balloons, and 96 Rock playing on the radio. I remember getting very annoyed when the principal of my school took it upon himself to change the station to "cool jazz" 101, because he felt that classic rock was inappropriate - for my party.
What would Rabbi Cohen think, one wonders, about a bat mitzva party that manages to destroy the street cred of Tom Petty, Aerosmith, and most amazingly, 50 Cent? I mean, Kenny G., Stevie Nicks, even Don Henley - you expect these people to be working the tweener mitzva circuit at this point in their careers (for Mr. G. let's make that "career".) But Fitty? Thank God that, in addition to the reported half a million dollars he got for the gig, he didn't allow his shame to be captured on film.
UPDATE: One brave young maidel risked a can of whup-ass to get pics of the debased stars "so she could get money for a boob job." The parents must be shepping such naches.
What would Rabbi Cohen think, one wonders, about a bat mitzva party that manages to destroy the street cred of Tom Petty, Aerosmith, and most amazingly, 50 Cent? I mean, Kenny G., Stevie Nicks, even Don Henley - you expect these people to be working the tweener mitzva circuit at this point in their careers (for Mr. G. let's make that "career".) But Fitty? Thank God that, in addition to the reported half a million dollars he got for the gig, he didn't allow his shame to be captured on film.
No doubt, this is just the send-off that will usher young Elisheva Brooks into a life of Torah, mitzvos and maasim tovim. Umayn.For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs - and badly - though he did manage to work in the lyric, "Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah."
At one point, I'm told, one of Fitty's beefy bodyguards blocked shots of his boss performing and batted down the kids' cameras, shouting "No pictures! No pictures!" - even preventing Brooks' personal videographers and photographers from capturing 50 Cent's bat-miztvah moment.
"Fitty and his posse smelled like an open bottle of Hennessy," a witness told told me, adding that when the departing rapper prepared to enter his limo in the loading dock, a naked woman was spotted inside.
UPDATE: One brave young maidel risked a can of whup-ass to get pics of the debased stars "so she could get money for a boob job." The parents must be shepping such naches.
